Uposatha Day, New Moon, September 15
One by one we lose everybody and everything that is dear to us. Until at some point anyone who is still left out there all at once loses us. We are adrift in an ever-changing unreliable world. Our every attempt to grab onto something as it flies into and out of our world, to pretend it is fixed and constantly at hand when it is in fact flying by, always hurts. Sometimes it jolts, sometimes it mangles.
We lost my older brother Arthur a couple of days ago. I flew out to California where Arthur lived not far from our childhood home, where my dad and I are dealing with his affairs. Inseparable as children, our lives took radically different paths as adults. He became remarkable in many ways. He took his own life and no one can figure out what it was that flying by hurt him so badly.